I Shower and Theres No Funny Busines
For years I was addicted to showering
But now I am finally clean
Why can't you let a Pokémon in the bathroom while you're showering?
Because he might Peek-at-chu.
Optional addition NSFW or kids: And if he gets really excited, he might Squirtle.
My boyfriend asked me why I like showering in boiling hot water
I told him a snack tastes better cooked.
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today
My boyfriend said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
What did Descartes say after not showering for a week?
"I stink, therefore, I am."
Alternatively: what did Descartes say after becoming an alcoholic? "I drink, therefore, I am."
My wife dad-joke'd me while I was showering.
So I was enjoying my nice warm shower. She says "Do you always take cold showers in the morning?" I say, "I'm not taking a cold shower."
She says "...yet", and pour ice cold water on me.
I would've groaned, but I was too busy shrinking.
Shower pun
Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it's a soap opera
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
My doctor is such a great guy. He always showers me with compliments.
Just the other day, he told me I have acute tonsillitis
"Dad, I'm going to take a shower"
Just give it back.
What does Eminem do in the shower?
Marshal Lathers
Osama Bin Laden never took showers..
Because he just loved using bath bombs too much..
What you call a deer in the shower ?
A raindeer
I certainly soap you like it.
What do you find in a cannibals shower?
Head and shoulders
I ate a sandwich in the shower
It was a shoarma
A woman in the shower heard the doorbell.
"It's the blind man".
So she answered the door naked...
"Nice boobs. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"
Why do astronomers add meat to their shampoo?
So they can have meatier showers.
If the Earth is the third planet from the Sun...
...does that mean that every country is a third-world country?
I've been grabbing showers for decades...
But I still haven't been able to grasp onto it yet!
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
I would be showered with guilt
Took a pretty good picture of the meteor shower a few days ago.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others' privacy
I haven't showered for 3 months
I don't know why I'd be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that'd make!
Does anyone know if we can start taking showers yet?
Or are we still just washing our hands?
My boyfriend asked me what's the leading cause of dry skin?
Towel!!!
What did Jeffrey Dahmer keep in his shower?
Heads and Shoulders.
My neighbor thinks I spy on her.
I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now.
We grew up SO POOR I drank Nurse Pepper...
...she was an LPN.
We had a Don't Bother Checking account.
My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.
Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.
For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.
My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").
We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."
We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.
My pillow only had one side.
Repossession was 9/10 of the law.
Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.
Our scotch tape was scots-irish.
(I'm allowed)
My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.
One year Santa had to bring stockings.
The next year he filled them with nooses.
I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.
Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.
"I'm going to jump in the shower"
Funny, most people sing in the shower.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims, of course!
If April showers bring May flowers, What do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims..
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims....
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
If April showers bring may flowers what do may flowers bring?
Pilgrims
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it becomes a soap opera
What is it called when your singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera
I have a friend who took a selfie in the shower, but it came out blurry.
He has selfie-steam issues
Me: I'm going to take a shower
Dad: Don't take it too far
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
Me: I'm going to hop in the shower
Dad: Don't hurt yourself!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
Source: https://punstoppable.com/showering-puns
0 Response to "I Shower and Theres No Funny Busines"
Post a Comment